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14 May 2017

I am Mommy!

                     As I reflect on my pregnancy and being a mom to a vibrant one year old... I have to say my pregnancy was horrible on every front; emotionally, mentally, physically,  I did not enjoy pregnancy. I did not have a smooth one at all. Every fear of why I did not want to ever be pregnant came true. It was a dark time for me.

( I do know one thing though. If you have no experience in going through a journey such as pregnancy and you are giving advice to a woman that is pregnant and going through trials in her life at the same time. Please let your advice be a good one, one that cheers her on, one that puts everyone around her in line or be quiet. Because soon you will be in the hot seat too, and good luck to you. It is not easy for most woman.)

Pregnancy humbled the heck out of me! I appreciate my mother so much more!
                     Leading up to giving birth to her was traumatizing emotionally. What a woman has to go through! You are suffering going through pain emotionally and physically and your baby feels the emotions. I reflected in the hospital room, what type of mother I would want to be. I knew growing up, that children were out of the picture for me. Now here I am, about to push out a baby girl! Me! God allowed me to be someones mom? What a beautiful responsibility. I could not believe it. I went through a hurtful pregnancy ( I was sick the whole time and so sensitive)...asking God why did I have to go through a pregnancy this way?

                  We have to go through pain, it's a part of life. You love harder and stronger. My bond with my baby is so heavenly, because I went through something with her since in the womb. She heard me cry, she heard me laugh...now going through the final pain of pushing her out! Was extraordinary! 

They gave me epidural but I had to let it wear off because I started to get a bad reaction from it. I was so tired of pushing, but so excited to see her. When she came, I said "a human was in me?" There is a God!  

                A man and a woman carry life in them. When we join together to make life, it is not to be taking lightly. The pain a woman has to suffer through during pregnancy and now during child birth is so high. Child birth is the most dangerous thing a human being can put themselves through and yet the most magical phenomenon. A woman deserves to be celebrated, to be valued, and to be taking care of properly during and after giving birth. Especially a good woman, that wants to work hard to be a great mother.

 It's sad to say, anyone can give birth, it's true. But an excellent mom deserves a lot of love for the child's sake. 

             For couples out there! Men the least you can do is help be pregnant too. What do I mean by that? Your support level during the pregnancy means so much. Just be available ( it doesn't mean all the time) but be there as a good support system. The little things count. It says so much about your character. You are dad the moment she says "we are pregnant." How a man treats his child's mother says so much about your fatherhood and vice a versa. It shows, hey, this is how you are suppose to treat a woman or be treated as a woman. It does not matter if you are together or no longer together, respect goes a long way on both sides. Starting with the pregnancy.

I thank the men that celebrate their woman through the process.

               I am mommy now! We are raising a black little girl in America. Why do I say that? Well the odds are against her according to society. I want her to always believe  in herself, that she can be at the top, with hard work and dedication. I need my daughter to know that a man should not ever hush her voice but celebrate it and find ways to elevate it. She will always know that her parents hearts, ears, and our door will always be open to her with no harsh judgment. 

               As her mom I want to tell her to always hold her head high. No matter what lies are spread about her, what people might say or think about her, or what man broke her heart. She has strength inside of her. I want to show and give my daughter the most precious gift out there. I want to introduce her to God every day. To know she can fight every battle, enemy and accomplish everything on her knees. All I can do is ask God how to be her mom and guide her. I want to be half the mom, my mom is for me.

             I would go through all the pain all over again, knowing I would be rewarded with my little girl. The wobbling, the weight gain, the sweating, the emotions, the pain, the sleepless nights (that won't ever end till the day you die, I know because I keep my mom up at the age of 28), the crying, the vomiting, the stretch marks, your hormones are out of whack.....etc!!!!!! I would do it again and again. It's called love. When you would take a bullet, when you would walk for miles, when you will hunt to get food, when you will do whatever it takes for a smile and a hug. It's called unselfish love. You do not want anything back for your hard work but just to see the other person happy and to see them grow into a wonderful person. I would go through pain again for her, knowing that I get a "hi mommy"at the end of it. I just want to be her mom and I love my new name "mommy."  So grateful to God that he trusted me to be our daughter's mom. 

Thank you dad's, family, and friends for your support. Because it does take a village.


                                                   "One photo with mommy please baby!"
                                                       Conversation with One year old

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